Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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