Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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