he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
