So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
