All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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