If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
