hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
