Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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