I can't breathe out the right side of my face
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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