so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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