He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
