Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Randomize
