I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
