after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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