You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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