I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
