I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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