I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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