I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
