When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Oh god it's open bar.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
