Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
