On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
