Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!