guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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