The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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