real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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