She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
