It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
