dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
