At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
