# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
