do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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