i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
