And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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