the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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