is your mom at the bar?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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