A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
