she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
