I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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