No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
