just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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