Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
