i really wish james franco would like my vagina
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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