i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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