i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
