And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
