he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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