I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
