after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
