The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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