I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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