I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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