First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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