my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
