Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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