Moan for me like Helen Keller
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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