Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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