My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
