Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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