It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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