He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
