I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
